Haiku Kung-Fu
Scene 1
We open on the interior of a Denny's restaurant, the time is 10:45pm on a Wednesday.
This was the destination, we had arrived. In the list of World's Greatest Achievements and Amazing Feats driving 97 miles through high desert desolation to get from one small remote town to another small remote town wasn't quite Everest, but for us it was excitement.
It wasn't just Denny's, it was 24 hour Denny's, and that meant we were somewhere other than a couch for as long as we could keep awake, and coffee was on the way.
Also joining us in the dining area was a group of four people, two men and two women, who had apparently decided to meet up after work for some coffee and inane banter. It's a classic scenario, you've seen it a hundred times in movies or on television, one loud person spouting anecdotes and puns while the enraptured audience laughs and nudges each other in guffaws. This was taking place directly behind my compatriot's shoulder, at full cinema volume. The barking comedian, a wrecking ball of a man, having realized that his coworkers had relaxed enough to find him funny, was giving it his all. Hang gliding, Yankees, vacation stories, whether or not it was cruel to own just one goldfish, something about marrying a fire extinguisher. For neigh on two hours the man was a buzzing television and there was no remote. Every now and then a sentence would wander over to our table and sit right down in our heads, causing suppressed chuckles and intrigued looks. Did he just say “Vanilla Elephant”? Nevermind.
My friend and I write, not just for communication, but for enjoyment and fame as well. So when he reached into his bag and retrieved his composition book and pen, I was well aware of where it was going.
We decided on Haiku as our method of attack; it's fast, simple and, if executed well, funnier than a Limerick. For the next half hour we looked like a pair of neurotic madmen with twitching fingers. Counting syllables, mumbling to ourselves as we stared at the ceiling and laughing out loud, it's a wonder the police weren't called.
After work for drinks,
That guy's ass takes up two seats
Turn the volume down.
Another late night,
Voices carry all over,
Human megaphone.
Yankee a Yankee,
"lets go to the rainforest"
Dude... that guy's a tool.
Louder than all hell,
the voluminous strangers,
please help me kill them.
After a few sideways glances from the party and a lot of barely contained hilarity the party resolved their evening and left. We regretted not presenting them with our two pages of impromptu poetry, we felt they should have at least know the lengths at which we defiled the ancient art of Haiku in their honor. The rest of the night was spent in discussion of the typical late night coffee fare; life, existence, politics, girls. At about 4am we creak our sleeping legs to life and pay the bill, apologize to the staff for all the torn up napkin flakes we left them and began the long ride home. It was assumed that we had plenty of gas to get back, but that, Dear Reader, is another story.
We open on the interior of a Denny's restaurant, the time is 10:45pm on a Wednesday.
This was the destination, we had arrived. In the list of World's Greatest Achievements and Amazing Feats driving 97 miles through high desert desolation to get from one small remote town to another small remote town wasn't quite Everest, but for us it was excitement.
It wasn't just Denny's, it was 24 hour Denny's, and that meant we were somewhere other than a couch for as long as we could keep awake, and coffee was on the way.
Also joining us in the dining area was a group of four people, two men and two women, who had apparently decided to meet up after work for some coffee and inane banter. It's a classic scenario, you've seen it a hundred times in movies or on television, one loud person spouting anecdotes and puns while the enraptured audience laughs and nudges each other in guffaws. This was taking place directly behind my compatriot's shoulder, at full cinema volume. The barking comedian, a wrecking ball of a man, having realized that his coworkers had relaxed enough to find him funny, was giving it his all. Hang gliding, Yankees, vacation stories, whether or not it was cruel to own just one goldfish, something about marrying a fire extinguisher. For neigh on two hours the man was a buzzing television and there was no remote. Every now and then a sentence would wander over to our table and sit right down in our heads, causing suppressed chuckles and intrigued looks. Did he just say “Vanilla Elephant”? Nevermind.
My friend and I write, not just for communication, but for enjoyment and fame as well. So when he reached into his bag and retrieved his composition book and pen, I was well aware of where it was going.
We decided on Haiku as our method of attack; it's fast, simple and, if executed well, funnier than a Limerick. For the next half hour we looked like a pair of neurotic madmen with twitching fingers. Counting syllables, mumbling to ourselves as we stared at the ceiling and laughing out loud, it's a wonder the police weren't called.
After work for drinks,
That guy's ass takes up two seats
Turn the volume down.
Another late night,
Voices carry all over,
Human megaphone.
Yankee a Yankee,
"lets go to the rainforest"
Dude... that guy's a tool.
Louder than all hell,
the voluminous strangers,
please help me kill them.
After a few sideways glances from the party and a lot of barely contained hilarity the party resolved their evening and left. We regretted not presenting them with our two pages of impromptu poetry, we felt they should have at least know the lengths at which we defiled the ancient art of Haiku in their honor. The rest of the night was spent in discussion of the typical late night coffee fare; life, existence, politics, girls. At about 4am we creak our sleeping legs to life and pay the bill, apologize to the staff for all the torn up napkin flakes we left them and began the long ride home. It was assumed that we had plenty of gas to get back, but that, Dear Reader, is another story.
posted by Justin at 5:09 PM
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